A Different Kind of Love

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A Different Kind of Love

We are wired for connection. We want friendship, touch, intimacy, conversation - the feeling of being seen and the quiet comfort of knowing someone is beside us.

And yet, wanting another person seems to have acquired a bad reputation.

We are told to love ourselves, know our worth, protect our energy. Don't chase. Don't give too much. Don't need anyone.

But I don't want loving myself to mean pretending I don't need connection.

I want someone to share my days with. Someone I can call when something big, or completely insignificant happens. Someone who hands me a cup of coffee in the morning. Someone whose shoes are left by the door.

Perhaps strength isn't about learning not to need another person.

Perhaps it is learning to love another without losing ourselves.

That means telling our truth without trying to control how it is received. Loving when we have love to give. Allowing another person to choose freely - even when their choice hurts us.

Because I cannot make another person choose me. I cannot control how they love or whether they stay.

I can only take responsibility for what is mine and leave them free to take responsibility for what is theirs.

There is both freedom and pain in that kind of love.

It doesn't say, I don't need you.

It says, I can want you without abandoning myself to have you.

And perhaps that is the love I want to practise now: remaining tender, remaining open, and loving another without leaving myself behind.

What would loving without abandoning yourself look like in your life?