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Mid-life: what is it?

Jean Shinoda Bolen in Crossing to Avalon describes midlife as

Those times in our lives when we are in an “in between” zone, a state in which we are neither who we used to be, nor who are becoming. It’s like standing in a doorway, or being in a passageway, or even in a long dark tunnel, between two phases of our lives.

Library shelves around the world are filled with self-help books on mid-life. It is true that all of us find ourselves or will find ourselves at some point at that juncture in our lives, where we are at a crossroads. Or at sea, when we enter unchartered waters. Where the vast body of water in front must be crossed without really knowing where we are headed and how we could get there.

Many of us find ourselves in this situation voluntarily or many, not through choices we have made, but rather, choices that were made for us. Be it our circumstances or people, but there we are, in front of the vast waterbody to be now crossed with caution and no small amount of faith and trust. It is as if we are trying to get somewhere, we know not where, somehow, and we know not how.

Transitions occur in our lives many times, most notably, when we are born, when we enter adulthood, in our mid-life and at death. Mid-life seems like a check-in point. Where are we heading? Are we on the right course? At this moment, we are so acutely aware that perhaps our life needs to be changed, or that our path is not as it should be. Relationships fail, careers fail, our interests fail. It is like being in a limbo. New directions are needed, new paths must be forged, new beliefs must be instilled. All because, at this mid-point check-in with ourselves we come across the greatest truth of all – our mortality.

When we know that most of our lives have already been lived, and now time seems to be gathering speed and we are heading faster and faster to the end of our lives, we begin to question every choice we have made this far: is this relationship still working for me? Is my job fulfilling me? What happened to my dreams I had as a young adult? What more paintings could I have painted, songs sung, houses built, families created, you name it, the list is endless.

A growing numbness gives way to resentment, frustration and ultimately some break-up or breakthrough. It is our choice. We can enter phases of denial or rationalization. We can give up or give in. We can fight, flight or freeze. It is always a choice.

I am here to tell you, that such times as our mid-life is an opportunity in disguise. Wherever you find yourself, whether it is in a big transition or just wondering if this is all life has to offer you. Whether you are leaving careers, leaving countries, leaving relationships; whether you are jumping off the bridge into the unknown or just dreaming about the next step to take; whether you are joining gym clubs or binge-watching Netflix, I firmly believe that at this glorious juncture, we get another chance at life to turn crisis into breakthroughs, tribulations into triumphs, despair into hope. And create a life we truly desire. Leave that behind which no longer serves us and define how we want to live our lives.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

Love and light,



If you heed to the deep inner Call and want to make a change in your life, create easy steps to follow through, then I, as your coach, am committed to being your guide as your traverse through these pivotal times so you can be at your destined goal with ease and grace.

I would love to hear from you about your challenges. In a free consultation call, we can explore various possibilities and of course, to check if working with me is something that will add value to you and your dream life. Let us make this happen.

Click here to connect with me

Photo by Noelle Otto:


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